Novelist and Storyteller
“When individuals in our society speak or act out of hatred against a whole group of people based solely on superficial appearance, it is a reflection of the mental state of our whole society. We don’t escape because we are not the ones hating. The challenges of race, sexuality, and gender are the very things …
One of my identities is as a figure skater. For twenty years now, I have been practicing, learning new skills and tricks on the ice. For me, the ice is a source of grace, intimacy, and comradery. I see it as a practice of mindfulness, of Buddha nature, of beingness. On the best days, like …
Continue reading "Recognizing and Transforming Shame: A Zen Approach"
In a long year for our community since the beginning of Covid, we have experienced lockdowns, loneliness, fear and grieving as we mourned our lack of connection and intimacy. During this period, we first flattened the curve and then helplessly watched the wave of infections inundate us. Yet at the same time, we rediscovered community …
There is a Chinese Zen kōan, a teaching story about a pilgrimage that I won’t share with you today. If Zen teachers were lawyers, Zen practitioners would be required to sign a release which states that whenever a teacher says they will not do something, it means the opposite, especially if they use words that …
Recently, I rediscovered posts on Facebook about my travels seven months after my partner René Valdes died in February 2012. While I have preserved much of the immediacy of the record, I have used them to explore the universality of grief. desire and wonder that we feel daily in the pandemic. Oh, and that includes …
The title of this essay uses a phrase from Hunter S. Thompson, the self pro-claimed gonzo journalist from the 1960’s and 70’s who wrote about the 1972 Nixon campaign in his book entitled Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail. On the day before election day 2020, we have our own version of fear and …
If you were locked down over the last months with your partner or partners, intimacy has likely been a key part of quarantine survival. But for those of us that are single or in non-monogamous relationships, our ability to attend to our emotional and sexual health needs was severely diminished. Abstinence or pleasuring ourselves with …
Continue reading "Six Questions to Ask Before Having Sex in the Time of Corona"
Shu-jō mu-hen sei-gan-dō Bon-nō mu-jin sei-gan-dan Ho-mon mu-ryō sei-gan-gaku Butsu-do mu-jō sei-gan-jō Beings are numberless; I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible; I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless; I vow to enter them. Buddha’s way is unsurpassable; I vow to become it. The first time I chanted these lines 12 years …
Continue reading "Beings are numberless, I vow to save them: The 4 Boddhisattva Vows"
This piece was published in the Bay Area Reporter on 3 September 2020 under the title of Six Questions to Ask Before Having Sex Again. If you were locked down over the last months with your partner or partners, intimacy has likely been a key part of quarantine survival. But for those of us that …
Continue reading "Six Questions to Ask Before Having Sex in the Time of Corona"
Welcome as we are in another day of our collective sesshin in Northern California. It’s a very special time because we have never tried to have a sesshin with all of the population of Northern California. But with all of us sheltering-in-place in response to the corona virus, here we are. Sesshin is a Zen …
Continue reading "Welcome to Our Collective Retreat (Sesshin)"
